Dear Lisa and Tina,

I was listening to your show about sex and the single mom, and you talked about when you should put your daughter on the pill. But, as a single mom, I want to know how to talk to my son about sex?

Elite Single Mom Listener

Dear Listener,

Lisa here. Tina threw this one to me since her son is 5, and mine is 19.

I talked to my son the same way I talked to my daughters about sex. I especially emphasized to him the importance of planting his seed someplace where he’d want to stay and watch it grow. Around 7th or 8th grade, my son started thinking it was cool to flash condoms (unopened) as his way of bragging about “supposedly” having sex. He even kept STACKS of them on his dresser. Although I didn’t think he was having sex at the time, I didn’t take it lightly. My talk with him was about respecting himself and treating himself valuable, just like I wanted my girls to do. I met a gentleman a couple years ago who said he had a hard time connecting and relating to women because he hadn’t placed a high enough value on himself when he’d slept with women in the past. I had never heard a man say that before. This guy told me how low he felt when he dated a married woman. The sneaking around, waiting for her to call. He said he lost respect for himself until he heard a pastor preach about men valuing themselves sexually. Over the years I’ve heard men briefly broach the subject, but I’ve never had one go into it in as much detail as this guy did.

So although I felt like my words fell on deaf ears at the time (like everything else I said to him), I think he got it. I admire the way my son respects women. I just hope he respects himself in the same way.