There’s a new trend: Christian soft porn.

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It appears that a lot of pastors are going for the shock-factor when discussing sex in the pulpit these days. While their overall message may be good, their approach is all wrong:

A bed in the pulpit to teach women how to keep their husbands so the hoes don’t get him.

A pastor challenging married couples to have sex for seven straight days in the name of strengthening marriages.

Great Sex billboards on rural Alabama highways.

Saints, let’s talk about sex! Erotica Author Zane to appear at Empowerment Temple AME Church

What’s really going on people? What place does sex have in the church? Or better yet, where does the church fit into our bedrooms?

There is a place for sexual discussions amongst Christians, but there must be discernment. There’s a time and a place for everything, and sex talks, replete with graphic verbiage, should not be used in Sunday morning sermons. These pastors have gone too far. They’ve lost their God-focus, and are now relying on sensationalism to build their membership.

A host of believers are getting divorced and citing a lack of sex and intimacy for their decisions. And porn addiction is running rampant. So, it is time for us to stop being so prudish and modest in our approach to sexual discussions. But a marriage retreat would provide a better forum than an altar adorned with a king-sized bed, and a preacher donning pajamas with his wife’s tongue down his throat.

And what about our youth? A lot of them are confused. They have questions and they deserve answers: Are they going to hell for being gay? Is it okay to have anal or oral sex? What constitutes sex? Are they going to hell if they’ve already had sex? How can we provide them with an outlet to ask questions and get biblical answers?

Believers think it’s as simple as telling them God doesn’t approve. But, our children are sexting, performing oral sex on the bus and having anal sex as a form of birth control. A stern, “Don’t have sex until you’re married,” isn’t cutting it.

And has anyone besides me noticed the “bi” trend that is plaguing our girls? Not only do we have to worry about our daughters having sex with boys, we now have to be concerned with them experimenting with girls (so much for slumber parties). They’re learning in the streets that sex with a girl is more pleasurable than sex with a boy. We can kick up our feet and say that they shouldn’t be having sex in the first place, but the reality is they are. Many are succumbing to peer pressure. Others are curious. And the rest are just flat out confused.

We still need to teach purity and chastity. But, we also need to keep it real. Our girls do think and talk about sex, even the ones who wear purity rings. So, we need to let them know, in a manner that’s age appropriate, that sex should be between a man and a woman — one man, and one woman, married to each — that it should feel good, and that they should never feel violated.

Indeed, believers need to get their heads out of the sand and stop being so super spiritual when it comes to sex, because once our marriages are in trouble or we find out our children are sexually active, the church is the first place we’re going. What I don’t agree with is these pastors soft porn approach to teaching what God does and does not approve of. They don’t need to put a bed on the altar or wear pajamas into the pulpit to get their point across.

Related posts:
1. Sunday Soul Food: Dr. A.R. Bernard called me lazy…and he was right
2. Is your child sexting?
3. What would you do?: My 15-year-old is having sex
4. When should we put our daughters on the pill?
5. Mississippi now has the highest teen birth rate